one less lonely me.

i'm like quoting everyone now :)

"that person is too lonely and bored so she go find someone to be "her own".

she says "I.L.Y" easily. too easily?"

-misa

owhhh. i'm so jealous. >< everyone has love... even the ones who don't need them have love and i'm like the only single guy. our gang is like.. everybody coupled before.. and all i can do is just stare at them couple-ing. why is it, that love for me. is so hard? my love life. is really complicated. all i can do is dream of us together. but i know, its not happening. i'm serious in love so no play play. serious here. to be honest, being single... SUCKS. i'm just gonna deal with it.

"if you love her doesn't mean you have to own her right?"

-wanteng

yeah. so. what. if i like you? heck. i just can dream of us. i know you don't like me. if i can see ur face, it means the world to me. if i can see ur smile i'll smile. if i can see you.. if i can see you..

"a person matures up after a break up with the one you love."

-me :D

i guess i'm counted? if everyone can couple, why can't i? i. am seriously. desperate. for love.

i. am. totally. losing. it. can i need you now?.. heck. i can't say it out loud, but yeah, i love you.

desperate.

ryan

not like me but totally me :D

this week was err... mixed. emo+happy+hyperr+crazzay+unhappy+good boy/bad boy=unbelievable~ was in a GREAT mood on the first part of the week. last few day then bad bad bad mood. haihhh..

monday was okay. edward moved to sit next to me. whooo~ so that means... me+the gang can like "keng gai" forever!! XD couldn't wait for chinese. can see her can alr. i still dunno why i don't dare to talk to her.. haihhh.. it was`raining. so no assembly. whoo~suddenly ammar sing i gotta feeling~ whole class sang man. best class ever~ then pn.julie ask us to have assembly in the dewan instead. owwhh. bla bla bla talking talking.. then somehow zi yoong ended up on stage.. whoah.. assembly that time she was standing two rows away from me. felt safer ;D

tuesday? jie ally they all tried to ponteng but went back to class instead. alexia kept saying her name. it was like. WTH WTH WTH. and she was just there. WTH.

wed. edward exposed his secret. OMG. her and her? hahahahaaaaaa... finally his taste better a bit. ;D but honestly, me+hui san wote in the black book. "his taste is soooooo weird." "i noe. he just simply choose one girl and like her. weirdo!"

thurs. hui san has a boyfriend~ goshhh.. fought with rebek jie cuz she say i'm jealous that she has a bf. so. what. jealous of rebek+hui san cuz they have bfs. haihhh.. emo-ed the rest of the day.

fri. passed edwards secret to wan teng jie and li yen jie. yeah.. XD hui san broke after one hour. LOL.. is it still counted? hahaaaaa.. rebek broke same day. that was weird. real sisters man.. wan teng jie: why so emo on facebook one? she noes who its about. cik noraishah period. the gang all keng-ing. teacher kept calling us. RYAN!! REBEKAH!! EDWARD!! WEI HSIN!! 4 times man.. whoahh. never copied. ^^. turned into bad boy during secondary. XD then suddenly we all emo. rebek ended up crying. cuz that childish idiot. haihh.. huji san. thinking of her bfs? ally already in a bad mood. so emo also. carmen was like staring at her. me leh.. thinking of her. drawing some emo pic. thinking bout what would have happened if it really happened.. imagining it alr.

told u it was emo.

" i try so hard too let go of the things you said, but turns out i keep thinking of it. how can i get better for you? i keep thinking of you. ur eyes. ur smile. what a dream i'll have."

"do you know how hard i try to hide the pain inside?" guess wan teng jie can help me? elaine noes how it felt. haihhh.

HOW CAN I BE BETTER?! JUST FOR YOU?

RYAN.

finally.

so. long time no see huh? at least we got to like meet each other again. after three disgusting months of hell. no offence. XD why isn't there like a yuk chai secondary? was waiting really excitedly for this day. cuz i can meet my friends lol. i heart YC~ even though 1A is kinda fun but 6C wayyyyyy better. no offence. to jean and the new friends.

went there late -like normal- busy preparing stufff i guess? if i was late for graduation i'm late for this. no time for lepak. xin yueh sms-ed me said 7A-ers hada go to the hall. dang, i ran.. as fast as i could. then on the stairs found Rachel. she called me like: RYAN!! i said hi. then said gotta go! gotta go up~ rachel: whatever. bye~ lol. then went up. then guess what. i'm like the last. -pant- too tired. lotsa time wasted there. speech 1 hour. -yawn- hwee veng, zhi ann and annie in front of me. sms-ing them.

me-annie: *yawn*

annie: *snore*

me-hwee veng: i think i can die here!!!

hwee veng: i'm gonna faint here man.. bla bla bla bla bla bla. i'm just here for my money.

me: boring~ i wanna go out lepak!

zhi ann: yeah. lepak just now. sorry. XD i'm gonna sleep.

sms all the way~ hada cancel my camwhore with deb cuz of the stupid speach. honestly, i'm only there for the money+friends. went out half way with yue kwang to "eat air" lol.

speech over. finally my money~ then went to 6C to lepak. met with weng loong then he sent me stuff. -not important- then ivan took my phone play. wth. nvm. then went out to lepak. first went to 6U met Catherine and Carmen. middle finger pic~ then went to 6I for edward. then went to canteen saw alicia n jing yee. more middle fingers. haihhhh. naughty girl. lol.

then went to change. passed by 6K. cam whore-ed with serene jie. -no more popo- grew younger leh.. pro. then talked a bit. then changed.. chatted with jie againn.. talk talk. camwhore with kei+annie.. totally forgot to sing the bonnie song.. DANG!! nvm.

canteen with ally and rebek. sending stuff from our phone like crazzyy.. lol. ally played with my cam. took some really lame pix.. lol.

thats it i guess.. so. buai buai~

rebek+ally.

phones~

xin yueh jia min n zhi ann..

dirty clothes and laundry XD

one less lonely me.

promised myself. nothing to post. just quote :D

"love sometimes can be easy can be hard"

-wanteng

"first time i'm crazzy over a girl.."

-edward

"you noe ur mei very playgirl one right?"

-melanie.

"love.. i'm serious with it."

-misa

"can you two stop making us jealous?'

-rebekah.

1 angsana. trying to noe me classh.. ^^

err.. 5 weeks of hell already.. hell gate opening tomorrow.. -scream- my new class.. 1 ANGSANA.. i probably noe almost all of the ppl in it.. since i'm the treasurer.. its hard work. the best thing bout skul is the CF~~ haha.. lemme try to test myself bout the classhh.. LOL.

Ammar. the sick perverted malay guy. wow.. he's prefect somemore.. he noe all those chinese bad words.. wah.. everytime sure scold something sick. LOL. sit behind wui lee.. VERY sick. VERY VERY VERY sick. the whole class gets crazy cuz of him.. likes alicia, tan jean? both.. eh, make ur mind la.. still, LOL!!!

Abang. sit in the same van as me. prefect. ummm.. okay la.. quite quiet.. sit next to ammar.. alicia say he look a bit like kah lok.. actually.. he does.. hmm.. malay version of kah lok?

Adam. prefect.. he actually looks like he's crying.. LOL.. wui lee keep askin him to stop crying! haha..

Adam Ally. the tall guy.. weng loong saw him didn zip his zip.. LOL.. he was like.. " OH MY GAWD!!!!" we all laughed at him..hehe.. evil?

Alicia. ex-YC-er. last time 6Y de. same rumah sukan with me. deal with her to bring my phone next friday on house training.. ammar's ex-crush. last time std 1 & 2 same class. tuition also.

Carmen. ex-YC-er. last time err.. 6U.. she last time could go home early cuz she gotta -feeling- XP oh, i mean a headache. heng! me and alicia begged her to bring us along. TT

zi ling rebek tze ning sophia hui san. wow. girl group. all hang out together. all sit together. all chat together. hey. zi ling promised something for my birthday. she said it was pink! O.O pink?! rebek promised to draw something?

another gurl gang, ching yueng jing wen ji jing bao ping. dude, crazy? LOL. barely talk to them.. so.. yeah.. oh, isyad.. trying to "kao" ching yueng? XD

yi khai and edward. both ex-YC-ers. hehe. yik khai my doggie~ love to bully him.. edward.. my "owner".. i'm his doggie.. pity me..

weng loong and yue kwang. 6C-ians. always say bad words. LOL. now ammar copy them? die..

penny. jokes around with us. ammar's new target? hoho..

zi yoong.. fat pomelo? LOL. my stupid ketua tingkatan. look more like STD 4 more than form 1. big fat pomelo~

anyways, damn lazy to do the rest of the classh.. bad memory? i hate/ love my class. so much~ can't wait for CF camp~ in genting.. so cool!! boring teachers. skul ain't fun la. new stories next time. see ya~

am i in love or is this another crush?

"will you catch me if i fall?"

current theme.. yea.. i guess i'm falling.. and falling.. and falling... no end... will you catch me? will you? damn.. why did i fall for her again? whats wrong with me? great.. i promised myself.. its not gonna happen anymore.. but i fell again... for..her.. arrrghh... whats should i do? i just fell.. instantly.. without looking.. again.. and then.. my heart tore.. stabbed so deep.. broken into a million pieces.. but i kinda feel good bout it.. i wanna feel... love.. again.. i wanna know that someone loves me.. i wanna feel the pain.. and yea.. i'm still crying like a pathetic baby after the "first break up".. i don't really bother about it anymore.. but it still hurts.. yea.. but u gotta let go.. of the dream.. i'm living for my new dream.. its just the point weather.. she'll be in it.. my life.. as what i'm dreaming of i guess... what i need.. is her.. does it matter? maybe to her i'm just invisible.. i'm nothing.. does it hurt? yea.. like a knife stabbed in ur heart.. noe how that feels like?

i just couldn't help it.. i promised myself i won't but i still did it? -sigh- what a good job ryan! damn damn damn... will you will you? i'm so sorry.. it was like automatic.. staring at her.. like it was the brightest star.. in the world.. my world.. then it was like i heard her laugh.. -sigh- again.. i fell.. in love.. i fell for her.. instantly.. so yea.. will i get it? miracles can happen right? so i'm like " everytime you smile, i smile... and everytime you shine, i'll shine for you.." i'm shining.. like her... i want to.. its just that.. is it bright enough? will she catch me?

yea just broke up with ex err few months ago? yea.. still remember all the memories.. it hurts deep.. but i guess i've let go.. "i'll never leave you, ever.. i swear." but she left. i was emo enough that day.. to be like that? i cried for days and nights.. cried myself to sleep.. yea.. but i had my sis' advice.. serene, ash.. yeap.. they knew how i felt.. so they helped a lot.. "i won't love you long, i will leave you, we wil break up.." you won't know how that felt. hey, i moved on.. yea.. new hopes.. dreams.. life.. maybe in my new skul.. i'll get her.. the her i was talking about like almost the whole post. XD thinking of confessing? scratch that.. it ain't gonna happen.. but i like prepared a text for her.. confessing to her.. so yea... u get what i mean..

so no more ex-ing.. i wanna live my life for her.. i wanna give her my heart.. would you take mine? will you catch me? will you notice me? will you? stuck to jump then fall.. cuz the lyrics is exactly what is happening.. in my life.. one last time.. "everytime you smile, i smile.. and everytime you shine, i'll shine, and everytime you hear, baby i'll show you..." just jump to me.. just jump. i like you? i love you? am i in love or is this another crush? XD

is it bright enough?

would you take it?

would u live it?

thats it la.. my post... haha.. will continue with langkawi post next time.. XP lol.. i love you~

shining brightly~ ryan

Langkawi day 1~~

went to langkawi last week... first day, didn't really do anything... went to school, was the second to come... first was kar mei~~ so early... went there like 6.00?? idk... waited a long while then everyone came~ chatted with tiong oon and weng loong... then it was time to go to the bus.. waited again... cuz jern and carmen came damn late... waited in the bus... long time... wanted to sleep in there... so boring...

after like 2 hours? i think... we stopped at some stupid R&R.... i dunno whats an R&R... its what edward said we're stoppin there... whatever la... saw the 6K guys there.. in the playground... playin like no tomorrow... lol.. so childish.... popo say: 这样才会有童年吗…… lol.. kinda true... hehe...

went back to the bus... sitting there was like torture~wanted to sleep, cannot sleep... haih... reached the other side of penang, i think, edward said that... then we ate lunch there... er... can't rmb the restaurant's name... made our ''bak kut teh'' haha.. see the pic in facebook la... so gross... kl and ivan they all mixed the food all in one cup.. i know... ewwww... ivan kena marah cuz of that... lol...

reached alor setar, i think... went to mahathir's old house... zi xuan was like 想歪 WHATEVER~ xy saw all the needles... she was like: ouch... the needles were friggin huge! ouch....

then we went to the rice museum.. took pix of the wall drawing thingy... so real... wow.. the painters so pro... took pix again... like crazy... wheee~ haha... me and deb bullied popo... haha... is she ur jie or popo? haha... our popo now...

then it was time to go langkawi~~ sat the ferry, so damn fun~ called misa in the ferry... weng loong called, not me... he did it cuz of zhi shen i guess.... not letting go? idk... asked her what she want for her bday present... everything~~ wth... im not THAT rich to buy you everything largh... haih...

reached langkawi, strait away went to eat dinner... er... lobster restaurant i think.... cool eh? haha... kar yan and hwee veng were scared over some cute little kitten... WTH.. so cute... still so scared... babies...

went to the hotel... kl's room were sorta against our room... idk why... who cares anyway? the bathtub was so dirty.. ewww... din dare to bath in it... ewwwww... first night was boring... watched tv... until 12... ashley n annie went to our room.. long story... ask them urselves... haha.. luckily they're not dead... haha... then i fell asleep...

first day~ end...