Maybe I'd be different, maybe in a sense that, I'd have a better attitude, instead of always being the introvert or the pessimist I am today. (Okay not so, but you get what I mean)
Maybe I'd be a Caucasian, living in Europe, in a middle class family, going to school and actually enjoying it, be the popular guy and the life of the party. Well, no way. Or maybe I'd be a famous Youtube celebrity/ cover artist (which secretly is one of my dreams). Or maybe I'd be living in a high rise city like New York, always on the rush. Or like how the song goes, 'In another life, you would be my girl.'
I've realized that none of these can happen, cus well, God chose me to be in this life, for a purpose. God gave me a family, a loving family, which some don't even get. He gave me friends, that stick with me even when I screw up and do stupid stuff and are always there no matter what. He gives me a home, a very comfortable home. He gives me all the blessings, that a lot don't have. Sometimes, I'm not even aware of how blessed I am, and always taking what I have for granted. You know I tend to get all so 'in love' or something once I fall for someone. Yet, cupid never comes back to me. All three times I've fallen for a girl, who somehow EVERY time is my best friend, something goes wrong, and now I've learnt a pretty big lesson. I've learn that being the lovey wovey one, it just does something to myself, and somehow it gives the impression that I'm 'desperate for love' and it pushes people away. and yeah I've learnt that the hard way, almost losing a friend and all. He teaches me lessons that sometimes I don't even know He is, when everything is down.
Just yesterday, I've been comforting a friend of mine, who feels as if her friend had replaced her, and the song just popped up.
'For greater thing have yet to come, greater things are still to be done'
I mean, I remember singing it during worship in CF and it has never really stayed in my mind. But now, it relates a lot to what I'm going through. From struggling with friendship issues, or my parents being disappointed with my studies. I realize there are far more things yet to happen, better things, better achievements.
You know there's this belief that says you are at least linked to 7 people in the world or something. So I was thinking, (and I've done a pretty good theory here) *clears throat* So my mom was interviewing Nate Berkus (the decor guy who every now and then appears on Oprah, and has his own TV show) , and he's friends with Oprah, and the Glee cast has been on Oprah, and by Glee cast I mean Heather Morris. Yay! HAHAHA makes no sense.
Well, yes, I'm fully aware that trials are in two weeks, and I'm aware that I should be studying. This is my effort to improve my English, thank you very much, and I realized that my English level is still pretty low after taking the New South Wales exam. -So going to score!- :( So, lately I've been jotting down unfamiliar words from the series, Fallen, which a good friend lent me, and I've still haven't finished it cause she doesn't have the full series, so I'm planning to camp out in the nearest bookstore and read it. Back to the point, that book is really good, I like how Passion brings me through an adventure through time, all around the world, and man that book has a lot of unknown words even my parents don't know. So, yes, I consider that studying. :)
And that's where I learnt the word, presumptuous, a.k.a Jen's P-word. Which pretty much suits how I am, I am, always assuming things are about me, always assuming that I made someone mad, always assuming that I'm the one they're talking about, always assuming, a lot. Bucket list for the next 6/7 months, get rid of that attitude of always saying sorry when its not even my fault, and later ruining friendships cus it gets pretty annoying and all.
Yes, I'm aware of that, and I'm trying my best to fix it. Progress, not perfection.
I don't know what I wrote, I just blurted out what was on my mind. Hah.
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| Look at the stars, look how they shine for you, and all the things that you do. -- Yellow, Coldplay |
And I shall end this post, which somehow doesn't make a lot of sense, with a quote.
'Life isn't about surviving the storm, its about learning to dance in the rain'
-- Taylor Swift.
-- Taylor Swift.
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