#7 I remember it all too well.

'Hey I know that you're probably thinking to yourself how you shouldn't have given that note to me, but I promise that things won't be awkward, chill. Just give me some time, okay? :)'

She's considering it. NATASHA IS CONSIDERING IT. YES. YES YES! Alex was really relieved, Alex really thought he screwed up, he was so afraid he'd lose one of the people who meant so much to him, he was.. happy.

'Okay *phew* you have no idea how relieved then. I thought I'd lose you.'

'No way, silly boy :) call me later okay?'

Okay, he didn't screw up, yay! Now it's just a matter of time, and the decision she makes. Uh-oh. But yeah, right at that very moment he should probably be apologizing to his tummy for all the butterflies because right then, he could have flown to the moon and back hearing that.

He actually has a chance now, this might actually work out for him. He might actually get the chance to be with the one girl he really really likes. He might actually get to be happy.

//

A week has passed since he told her, and he hasn't heard any answer so far.

They still talk, like nothing had happened, but he'd wonder what she was thinking now that she knew. Could we still talk like how we do? Well, in fact they did, they still do.

Her holiday to Australia was coming up, and he wished that she didn't have to leave but, this trip, was one of her motivations to push through the exams, he wanted her to be happy, she really had been waiting a long time for this.

He asked her whether she needed more time that Monday when he texted her goodnight, and fell asleep waiting for the text. The morning after he checked his phone,  she replied after all, brace yourself, Alex, this might be bad. He somehow could always think the worst at times.

'Morning weirdo :) heh, honestly I don't know. I'm.. pretty emotional, you know that, I don't know whether you'd be able to handle it.' 

Yeap, she is gonna say no, definitely. he thought.

'You know what? I know I'm not perfect but I'd try okay, I'm willing to at least be there for you, and I know that I can't solve everything but, I'll make sure you won't be facing your problems alone, I'm here.' he replied.

'Still, I'll be gone, 42 days is pretty long you know, anything can happen, that's what happened the last time, we just drifted apart, and that only lasted a month.' 

'You know what? Remember in the note, I said I've been feeling this for awhile now? Awhile was since May or June, I don't know why or how, but I knew it was you, and half those days I barely saw you, so yeah I doubt that 42 days will make me walk away.'

'But it is a long time, most people just walk away like that.'

'I promise you, I won't walk away. My feelings don't go so easily, I guess.'

He thought about it, yeah, he had been there for her during her lows and sometimes he helped lift her up, but sometimes he couldn't help but feel useless when his efforts don't work, and he'd pray that she'd be okay and all. She really did mean a lot to him, gosh he'd never walk away. No.

Well somehow their topic changed into.. a less deep conversation but at the end, he told her.

'You know what, I'm gonna wait. At least till you come back but yeah, I'd never walk away, I promise you. It's worth the wait.'

Yes, he is gonna wait, and imagine playing the Joe Brooks song My Heart Will Wait there, every single  lyric suited what he wanted to tell her.

'So, don't give up, girl don't give in, don't stop believing in me, this is just the beginning. 'Cause my heart will wait, my heart will wait for you, always.'

She is worth this, she's worth everything.

#6 The big day.

And just like that, the major exams were over, to Alex it meant THE day was here.

As he woke up the day before, it hit him hard, the day he was so eagerly waiting for, it was less than 24 hours away. Oh no. And as he lay down on his bed daydreaming, staring at his glow-in-the-dark stars covered ceiling, the thoughts running through his mind, somehow made him hesitate to really do this, yet made him really really want to do it.

Crap, should I really do this? She means so much to me, what if I ruin this? No, I've been liking her I have no idea when, I should tell her. No I shouldn't, she'll walk away from you. Yes I should. No, we're so close now, what if? Gosh, yes yes yes I should just do this, I don't care what happens, I just want her to know how I feel. What if...

'ALEX, WE'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR CHURCH IF YOU DON'T GET OFF YOUR BED!'

'Oh no,' He didn't realize that even though he woke up at 8, he was just lying down there for 2 hours. 'COMING, MOM!'

//

The bell rang, which meant that the exams were over, and the time had come. *dramatic music*

He spent the time after he finished his paper trying to think of the right words to say,  picturing scenarios on what might happen. Would she say yes right away? Would she read it, and just shyly walk away? Would she answer with 'I need some time' or something? Or would he lose everything and the girl he really really wanted to be with?

Alex thought remembered the letter he wrote a few months back which was in his bag the very moment. He thought about what he wrote and how there were so many other things he wanted to say to her.
I want to be the guy you'd call in the middle of the night when you can't sleep and the guy who'd tell you that you're beautiful when you're insecure and send you goodmorning texts or call you late at night . I want to be the guy you'd have movie dates with and you'd be crying whilst I'll hug you tighter in my arms and my sleeve would be totally wet. Or the guy you'd make covers with and filling up the bloopers with so many failed attempts and inside jokes only we'd understand. I want to be that guy.

and when the bell rang he thought about the text messages Haley, Elena and Mel sent him. They were rooting for him, that meant a lot.

And when the teacher walked around the class collecting the testpapers he was on the edge of his seat, impatiently waiting for all of 'em to be dismissed, so he could run out and catch her before she leaves after waiting for him when he asked her to the night before.

He ran out of the class room, and after a few more wishes of luck, he headed to the back-gate.

Okay, you can do this, Alex. Don't screw up. Alex thought. I really hope you say yes, Natasha, you have no idea how much you mean to me. 

After waiting quite a while, there she was, looking pretty as ever. He really thought how she is worth this, well, she really was. Why did I ever hesitate? 

'Hey, how was the exams?' said Natasha, man was he really shaking now. 'Why'd you ask me to come here anyway?'

'It was pretty tough actually, hmm.' he thought about the tree he once told her to wait under during their study date but she didn't know which tree 'cus um, there were too many trees, haha. 'follow me.'

And yes, he brought her there, and she was so puzzled on what was happening.

'Uh, where are we going?'

and he stopped, and pointed up. 'Here, tree.'

'Okay, I think you know this, but don't freak out, okay?' and he took out a note, his letter.

'What's that?'

'Read it.'

'Whoah, that's long.' Natasha really didn't know what was going on did she? Silly girl.  'Anyways, I've gotta go, Marissa's waiting for me at her house.'

Oh right, she was supposed to be at her best friends house to celebrate the end of the exams.

'Well, bye Natasha?'

'Bye.' as she walked away.

//

Oh crap, I screwed up, so bad. So so bad. Big mistake, oh no what if she doesn't talk to me anymore? This sucks. Why must I be like this?

Yep, he was practically talking to himself the whole way while walking home. Well, in his mind.

He waited for a reply, or maybe should he start the conversation first? What if it gets awkward?
and as his friends all texted him asking how it all went, he couldn't help but feel sorry for himself, he always loses the girl, their friendship, when he tells them. He was never fortunate enough.

This time, it was different, no girl has ever meant so much to him, or been so close to him, and he'd never done it face to face, since he'd always sneak it in her book or pass it to her friend with the previous crushes. She, Natasha Rose, was different, she was special.

but then he heard his phone ringing, great, another text asking how did it go. 

He was surprised to see who's name was on the screen. He was dreaming, he should have been, as these words were clearly on the screen:

New message from Natasha Rose. 

Day 1.

I really do miss you, a lot.

It feels weird not seeing your text, or seeing your face at night before I go to bed.

This is harder than I thought. I miss your laugh, the way you talk so hilariously when you put your retainers on, the way you'd laugh when I speak Chinese especially the ointment thingy heh, the way you'd hide under your blanket and snark, the way I'd scare you all the time (not regretting that, sorry :P), the way you'd say 'thau huu' or 'pa-yunts' hahaha.

I know it's like less than two months but I still miss you. And it's like I'll only Skype you when I Skype you which kinda is good but but yeaaahh.

And I know it's quite long but I promise you I'll be waiting. Because a noble knight always waits for his princess.

Stay safe okay?

#5 Today was a fairytale.

Day by day he was falling or her more and more as the last day of the exams drew nearer and nearer. He couldn't wait, it was like... waiting for water in a drought.

Well, Natasha's birthday was near and it really hit him that, he wanted something special for her, something super awesome that is like super memorable. He waited on the phone the birthday eve, well he was tutoring her anyway and he counted down, when it was 11:59 he started going '60, 59, 58, 57..' and yeah, voila, the super awesomest-but-failed birthday wish.

No, he thought, don't tell her yet, wait.

The actual day itself, after school he saw her and wished her again. As she was being thrown with all of I-have-no-idea-what-that-stuff-is oh wait, flour. As she was all drenched, all white and filthy, Alex offered her his umbrella, just in case she needs it, or maybe use it for self-defence, Brittany style. :D

'A little too late now isn't it?' said Natasha, looking down at herself all um, cleaned up.

'But but, just in case, you know?'

'It's okay, wanna hug?'

'OH CRAP NO.' Alex said 'No no no no no.'

Too late, she hugged him, dirtying his bag, his uniform, but he didn't care. He wished it lasted longer, he wished he could do it, like as a you-know-what. But no, her friends started splashing her again, dirtying them both but he didn't care, he wanted to go back to the time to when that happened. I know, it was just a hug, but but it is a hug. A hug, hug. The smile on his face when that happened, priceless.

'Not bad eh, she hugged you!' Alex kind of forgotten that Elena was right next to him when that happened. 'Heh, that was cool. Progress!'

As they walked to where Mel and Eddie Kaynes were (it was such a coincidence that Mel's boyfriend had the same birthday) he realized, he wanted what they had. They've been together for 2 and a half years now, almost 3 and still they are so cute together, they're so happy, almost nothing could come between them. He couldn't even imagine her with anybody else (he kind of expects them to get married as high-school sweethearts and have little tiny Smurf babies together). That, is love, right there.

It made him jealous yet warm and fuzzy inside when Mel planned the whole day with the gang being the stations for the 'Amazing Ed Race' a.k.a 'The 74th Annual Meddie Games' isn't that the cutest? Isaak, Elena and Alex were all part of them, and though it was pretty spontaneous, no one really knew what to do so they ended up going 'Go find the lamb' or 'go find the short Doraemon' but the last one was the one where everyone would go 'AWWWW'.

Isaak was the second last station, and all he gave as a clue was 'The turtle'. In a snap of a finger he could think that it was his girlfriend indeed, as she was pretty um, clueless. 'What do you call something with no body and no nose?' 'A turtle?' Yeeaaah.

The last clue lead to her, and she was there under the tree, waiting for him, holding the card she made.
As the gang watched from far away, all they could do was to squeal with excitement as they both talked and talked and BAM they kissed. Her second kiss, ever.

As Ed went back she came to the gang touching her lips and her smile, truly she was happy. Alex was happy, for them, and for himself -duh.

And while walking home, Alex walked with an unimaginable smile, he wanted to go back to the hug, he wanted his arms around her, he wanted to be hers. He wanted what Mel and Ed had. He was happy the whole day, well cus' today was a fairytale.

Candace and Jeremy, this is what he wants. 

It ends tonight.

... and just like that, PMR is over.

It's seems so fast, so surreal. Like, the first day of the exam, it just hit me, 'yeah, I really am Form 3. I feel so teenage.' it seems like just yesterday, that I've enrolled myself into this school, in Form 1 and now, I was about to talk my first ever major exam determining my future here. It just felt so recent, time really really does fly fast, doesn't it?

The Thursday we were supposed to arrange our tables and seatings, as I was walking out of my current class, talking to Jen. It came to mind, that that was the last day we'd be spending in our class. Our class, all the memories. It felt so.. fast, too fast.

I can clearly remember how I felt when I found out I was to be separated with Mel and Elina and Carmen, wondering how I was ever going to make it through the year and being thankful that Isaac was with me, at least.

I can remember the first day of school. When we all were really awkward, not knowing what to expect from 2012. Not knowing what to do, since everything is so foreign, as the 1997 batch rose up to the morning session. Whole new teachers, new timing, new everything. I remember going to class the first time and Jing Yee asking me to book a space for her and a girl named Jia Wen, now she turns out to be one of my closest friends.

This class, was the class I've been in for 2 years, all the memories. I still remember the Stereo Bananas, how we were the rebels of the class playing our random games, how they stood up for me as I got bullied and called really harsh names. Or this year, how we spent a really long time painting the class and failing the first time being the wrong color, how we made up the chinese version of Taylor Swift's song, how we sang so hyper-ly, or how we told sick horny stories. 


It just feels so.. fast. I just don't want this to end. I don't want to leave this class, this group of friends, the class we study in. Everything is just too dear to me, no I don't want to leave. 

I don't want this to end, but in like 2 more weeks, the 2012 semester will end, and in 4 months I'll be 16. 

'All good things come to an end, don't they?'