Sunsets:)

Ooh i love the sky too much. Somehow it makes me think of you, so beautiful, so mesmerizing.One day i'm gonna touch the sky:)

Sunsets are my favourite:)

Langkawi last year. EPIC. Somewhere in the harbour.

Cfcamp in Peacehaven ♥ ♥

Brenda: Is it just me or does this look like Cloudy with a chance of meatballs? :)

The sky is huge. Full of things that we might not even know of. Its as beautiful as you:)

hapeeee teaaachaahs day~

So. Friday was Teacher's Day.. as Cheng Choon said, it was boring.

Went there at like 7.00, WAS'NT LATE~ weee. Went to canteen, the guys weren't there, so lepak-ed at the girls table? hmmm.. think again. I just went there to give back the project. lawl. Cikgu Zul was right in the next table. He asked me to go find him. at first i thought i was in trouble.. or something. But instead i was asked a really really noob question.

Teacher: That girl your girlfriend? *points at Rebekah*

Me: NONONONONONONONONNONO! Owwhh. WTH

After that was like a telematch game in the school field, but honestly, I knew it was gonna be boring, that is, unless if a teacher falls down. ( yeah I know I'm evil ) XD Sat there waiting for someone to at least fall off but eventually got bored. Went to help the CF instead, they were making fans! oooohhh. i could've really used one. :(

The rest I only remember Ziyoong singing some malay song, which I didn't know what he was singing but all I knew that he did AWESOME. ohhyeeahhyeah those three girl dancing were HOT as in seriously hottt. And CF-- Elaine, Brenda and Erin were AWESOMEEE.

Err.. can't remember the rest anymore. XD

bye.

Party like a rock star~

imma seriously party sick:P weeee~ the childish lame me is back again~XD

reached ZiLing's house at umm.. *checks watch* 1.30 I think. turns out i' was late. again. stepped in the house and got sprayed by Jen with that SUPERR AWESOME water gun. XD then started the pour my Kickapoo on Melanie. haha. i ended up all wet with beer. ><

Then the party really started~ truth or dare. got wet alr. started splashing water with water guns. XD Ziyoong mixed the flour with Kickapoo and tomato sauce? O_O" felt like puking so badly.. when Penny arrived she was alr all covered with the "shit" that Ziyoong made. poor Penny.XD

went to the park. yay. truth or dare again. poor Ally had to"kiss" Ethan. LOL Ziling was like starstruck after "hugging" Ethan haha. NingShuen's so evil. :D Rebekah dared Edward to hold Melanie's hand and walk around the park. obviously, they didn't do it. Luckily i didn't get dared to do anything. phew.

after that was like photo time. haha. Alexia and Kaelynne were our photographers. pushed Melanie off the swing. wheee. finally got my revenge~ we were like in two separate gangs. the first one was like taking photos, the second one, which consists of like 5 ppl? chatting. HAHA (: me, Ally, Melanie, Penny and Ethan. just chatting.

they said we were flirting. O_O"

the flour stuck on my hair for 2 days. == wuddahell.

jump~ wheeeeeeee.

me, Penny, Melanie, Ally and Ethan:)

this all started by saying "next year 2 Mawar!" LOL

Jump higher~ hehe :D

Crazzyy~

Finally exams are over. -phew- somehow i actually studied. :O rare sight. very rare. but whatever goes in my mind ends up with whatever that has to do with her. sejarah, flipping through the pages but in my mind is just HER, HER, her, her.. owhhh, why must it be so hard? to move on, let go. can't get you out of my mind.

exam time, and WHOAH i actually knew the answers. Thank GOD Melanie's sitting next to me. (: i got to sleep. Finally. i dreamt of her. again. in class.. hope i wasn't like mumbling her name. :| not like the last time in Langkawi i sang Zero Gravity in my sleep. :D haha.

after KH exam was over the whole school was like in party mode~ bell rings, and i was like in a water fight alr~ bwahaha. splashed yan yan till she was all wet. lotsa other victims too haha. Diane, WeiEe, Ally, Melanie, Edward, Penny.. didn't splash misa. ): haha. imma evil. XD

Life.

So, hey again. So yeah, exam's over, and I'm free now:) Long time since a post, kinda lazy though. ^^

*rewinds*

Three weeks ago, it was PMR so hada change classes. Angsana-ians school time was Tuesday and Friday. Tuesday, class was 5 Cempaka, and I've gotta say, that.class.is.awesome:)

Damn, i totally regret bringing my cam. >:( the sunset there, was mesmerizing. seriously. I somehow love to just stare at the sky, sunsets, clouds or just the stars i LOVE the sky. So that day's sunset was epic. Kinda like a portrait in the sky:) Melanie somehow decided to skip school, ditch the RIMECA gang? She.is.heartless. Rawrr. Anyways, Tuesday was awesome. Truth or dare, Me, Edward, Elina, Beck, Ally, Alis and Isaac:) never humiliated myself so much. Hada dance some weird dance around Jean, Jing and Penny. TORTURE.

Friday wasn't as fun though. Kinda boring actually. Nothing interesting that day. YAWNNN.

Till the next post:)

Secrets

" I'm lying to the world, pretending to be someone i'm not. but the world actually.. likes it."

everybody's asking the same question. haihh.. just wish they'll stop. i wish i actually had a chance, so tomorrow's the big day! turns out i'm emo-er and emo-er these days.. thank God my sis can un-emo me. most of the time its just thinking of her. somehow, the whole world knows about me and her.. everybody's telling me to let go but i tried, hey, i'm crazy, for you. continued writing my songs since i'm emo-ing. hmm.. nothing really to post about so yeah. bye.

random quote:

ryan: wow.. ur so leng zai for sure kao lui very pro huh?

jumyuen: you more pro.. always kao 6 in 1time.. want me to list out all of them?

ryan: .______.

maybe this time?

i made up my mind. i'm letting go. but honestly, i don't see that happening. never in a billion years. yeah, smile, whats the use of crying? yeah.. i made something for her but she'll accept it? yeah. right. haihhh.. everybody's couple-ing and i'm the only single one. why is it so harddd?

imagine me letting go. and all that i've done has been wasted. maybe i can just like you? i don't know why i like you. its just that i like you. :)

"After all that you just wanna let go?"-melanie.

everybody has troubles letting go right? yeah. helllpp meeee. i needa hang out more with my friends. hope that some girl will just appear in my life.

"i don't want you to avoid me. but i want us to just stay friends. stay in my life?"

choosing a jerk like him over me=bad mistake.

i tried..

"i tried letting go but i just can't. i can't see you without feeling heartbroken. feeling pain. feeling love. :) i sorta let go of the fact that i had a shot to be with you. but yeah. i still like like you. as long as i can see you smiling, hear you laughing, its enough. the sight of you is better. :) if thats true love?"

-ryan

love is, love. :D

"just because he changed his effing hairstyle doesn't mean you can just love him liddat. you needa love him cuz you love him. ."

-ryan

turns out i'm the love guru now. whoahh. thats a first. loving ur suckish. ex because he/she changed his/her hairstyle. is seriously really noob. i'm not falling for that.

wonder if i changed my hairstyle.. hehe. XD

one less lonely me.

i'm like quoting everyone now :)

"that person is too lonely and bored so she go find someone to be "her own".

she says "I.L.Y" easily. too easily?"

-misa

owhhh. i'm so jealous. >< everyone has love... even the ones who don't need them have love and i'm like the only single guy. our gang is like.. everybody coupled before.. and all i can do is just stare at them couple-ing. why is it, that love for me. is so hard? my love life. is really complicated. all i can do is dream of us together. but i know, its not happening. i'm serious in love so no play play. serious here. to be honest, being single... SUCKS. i'm just gonna deal with it.

"if you love her doesn't mean you have to own her right?"

-wanteng

yeah. so. what. if i like you? heck. i just can dream of us. i know you don't like me. if i can see ur face, it means the world to me. if i can see ur smile i'll smile. if i can see you.. if i can see you..

"a person matures up after a break up with the one you love."

-me :D

i guess i'm counted? if everyone can couple, why can't i? i. am seriously. desperate. for love.

i. am. totally. losing. it. can i need you now?.. heck. i can't say it out loud, but yeah, i love you.

desperate.

ryan

not like me but totally me :D

this week was err... mixed. emo+happy+hyperr+crazzay+unhappy+good boy/bad boy=unbelievable~ was in a GREAT mood on the first part of the week. last few day then bad bad bad mood. haihhh..

monday was okay. edward moved to sit next to me. whooo~ so that means... me+the gang can like "keng gai" forever!! XD couldn't wait for chinese. can see her can alr. i still dunno why i don't dare to talk to her.. haihhh.. it was`raining. so no assembly. whoo~suddenly ammar sing i gotta feeling~ whole class sang man. best class ever~ then pn.julie ask us to have assembly in the dewan instead. owwhh. bla bla bla talking talking.. then somehow zi yoong ended up on stage.. whoah.. assembly that time she was standing two rows away from me. felt safer ;D

tuesday? jie ally they all tried to ponteng but went back to class instead. alexia kept saying her name. it was like. WTH WTH WTH. and she was just there. WTH.

wed. edward exposed his secret. OMG. her and her? hahahahaaaaaa... finally his taste better a bit. ;D but honestly, me+hui san wote in the black book. "his taste is soooooo weird." "i noe. he just simply choose one girl and like her. weirdo!"

thurs. hui san has a boyfriend~ goshhh.. fought with rebek jie cuz she say i'm jealous that she has a bf. so. what. jealous of rebek+hui san cuz they have bfs. haihhh.. emo-ed the rest of the day.

fri. passed edwards secret to wan teng jie and li yen jie. yeah.. XD hui san broke after one hour. LOL.. is it still counted? hahaaaaa.. rebek broke same day. that was weird. real sisters man.. wan teng jie: why so emo on facebook one? she noes who its about. cik noraishah period. the gang all keng-ing. teacher kept calling us. RYAN!! REBEKAH!! EDWARD!! WEI HSIN!! 4 times man.. whoahh. never copied. ^^. turned into bad boy during secondary. XD then suddenly we all emo. rebek ended up crying. cuz that childish idiot. haihh.. huji san. thinking of her bfs? ally already in a bad mood. so emo also. carmen was like staring at her. me leh.. thinking of her. drawing some emo pic. thinking bout what would have happened if it really happened.. imagining it alr.

told u it was emo.

" i try so hard too let go of the things you said, but turns out i keep thinking of it. how can i get better for you? i keep thinking of you. ur eyes. ur smile. what a dream i'll have."

"do you know how hard i try to hide the pain inside?" guess wan teng jie can help me? elaine noes how it felt. haihhh.

HOW CAN I BE BETTER?! JUST FOR YOU?

RYAN.

finally.

so. long time no see huh? at least we got to like meet each other again. after three disgusting months of hell. no offence. XD why isn't there like a yuk chai secondary? was waiting really excitedly for this day. cuz i can meet my friends lol. i heart YC~ even though 1A is kinda fun but 6C wayyyyyy better. no offence. to jean and the new friends.

went there late -like normal- busy preparing stufff i guess? if i was late for graduation i'm late for this. no time for lepak. xin yueh sms-ed me said 7A-ers hada go to the hall. dang, i ran.. as fast as i could. then on the stairs found Rachel. she called me like: RYAN!! i said hi. then said gotta go! gotta go up~ rachel: whatever. bye~ lol. then went up. then guess what. i'm like the last. -pant- too tired. lotsa time wasted there. speech 1 hour. -yawn- hwee veng, zhi ann and annie in front of me. sms-ing them.

me-annie: *yawn*

annie: *snore*

me-hwee veng: i think i can die here!!!

hwee veng: i'm gonna faint here man.. bla bla bla bla bla bla. i'm just here for my money.

me: boring~ i wanna go out lepak!

zhi ann: yeah. lepak just now. sorry. XD i'm gonna sleep.

sms all the way~ hada cancel my camwhore with deb cuz of the stupid speach. honestly, i'm only there for the money+friends. went out half way with yue kwang to "eat air" lol.

speech over. finally my money~ then went to 6C to lepak. met with weng loong then he sent me stuff. -not important- then ivan took my phone play. wth. nvm. then went out to lepak. first went to 6U met Catherine and Carmen. middle finger pic~ then went to 6I for edward. then went to canteen saw alicia n jing yee. more middle fingers. haihhhh. naughty girl. lol.

then went to change. passed by 6K. cam whore-ed with serene jie. -no more popo- grew younger leh.. pro. then talked a bit. then changed.. chatted with jie againn.. talk talk. camwhore with kei+annie.. totally forgot to sing the bonnie song.. DANG!! nvm.

canteen with ally and rebek. sending stuff from our phone like crazzyy.. lol. ally played with my cam. took some really lame pix.. lol.

thats it i guess.. so. buai buai~

rebek+ally.

phones~

xin yueh jia min n zhi ann..

dirty clothes and laundry XD

one less lonely me.

promised myself. nothing to post. just quote :D

"love sometimes can be easy can be hard"

-wanteng

"first time i'm crazzy over a girl.."

-edward

"you noe ur mei very playgirl one right?"

-melanie.

"love.. i'm serious with it."

-misa

"can you two stop making us jealous?'

-rebekah.

1 angsana. trying to noe me classh.. ^^

err.. 5 weeks of hell already.. hell gate opening tomorrow.. -scream- my new class.. 1 ANGSANA.. i probably noe almost all of the ppl in it.. since i'm the treasurer.. its hard work. the best thing bout skul is the CF~~ haha.. lemme try to test myself bout the classhh.. LOL.

Ammar. the sick perverted malay guy. wow.. he's prefect somemore.. he noe all those chinese bad words.. wah.. everytime sure scold something sick. LOL. sit behind wui lee.. VERY sick. VERY VERY VERY sick. the whole class gets crazy cuz of him.. likes alicia, tan jean? both.. eh, make ur mind la.. still, LOL!!!

Abang. sit in the same van as me. prefect. ummm.. okay la.. quite quiet.. sit next to ammar.. alicia say he look a bit like kah lok.. actually.. he does.. hmm.. malay version of kah lok?

Adam. prefect.. he actually looks like he's crying.. LOL.. wui lee keep askin him to stop crying! haha..

Adam Ally. the tall guy.. weng loong saw him didn zip his zip.. LOL.. he was like.. " OH MY GAWD!!!!" we all laughed at him..hehe.. evil?

Alicia. ex-YC-er. last time 6Y de. same rumah sukan with me. deal with her to bring my phone next friday on house training.. ammar's ex-crush. last time std 1 & 2 same class. tuition also.

Carmen. ex-YC-er. last time err.. 6U.. she last time could go home early cuz she gotta -feeling- XP oh, i mean a headache. heng! me and alicia begged her to bring us along. TT

zi ling rebek tze ning sophia hui san. wow. girl group. all hang out together. all sit together. all chat together. hey. zi ling promised something for my birthday. she said it was pink! O.O pink?! rebek promised to draw something?

another gurl gang, ching yueng jing wen ji jing bao ping. dude, crazy? LOL. barely talk to them.. so.. yeah.. oh, isyad.. trying to "kao" ching yueng? XD

yi khai and edward. both ex-YC-ers. hehe. yik khai my doggie~ love to bully him.. edward.. my "owner".. i'm his doggie.. pity me..

weng loong and yue kwang. 6C-ians. always say bad words. LOL. now ammar copy them? die..

penny. jokes around with us. ammar's new target? hoho..

zi yoong.. fat pomelo? LOL. my stupid ketua tingkatan. look more like STD 4 more than form 1. big fat pomelo~

anyways, damn lazy to do the rest of the classh.. bad memory? i hate/ love my class. so much~ can't wait for CF camp~ in genting.. so cool!! boring teachers. skul ain't fun la. new stories next time. see ya~

am i in love or is this another crush?

"will you catch me if i fall?"

current theme.. yea.. i guess i'm falling.. and falling.. and falling... no end... will you catch me? will you? damn.. why did i fall for her again? whats wrong with me? great.. i promised myself.. its not gonna happen anymore.. but i fell again... for..her.. arrrghh... whats should i do? i just fell.. instantly.. without looking.. again.. and then.. my heart tore.. stabbed so deep.. broken into a million pieces.. but i kinda feel good bout it.. i wanna feel... love.. again.. i wanna know that someone loves me.. i wanna feel the pain.. and yea.. i'm still crying like a pathetic baby after the "first break up".. i don't really bother about it anymore.. but it still hurts.. yea.. but u gotta let go.. of the dream.. i'm living for my new dream.. its just the point weather.. she'll be in it.. my life.. as what i'm dreaming of i guess... what i need.. is her.. does it matter? maybe to her i'm just invisible.. i'm nothing.. does it hurt? yea.. like a knife stabbed in ur heart.. noe how that feels like?

i just couldn't help it.. i promised myself i won't but i still did it? -sigh- what a good job ryan! damn damn damn... will you will you? i'm so sorry.. it was like automatic.. staring at her.. like it was the brightest star.. in the world.. my world.. then it was like i heard her laugh.. -sigh- again.. i fell.. in love.. i fell for her.. instantly.. so yea.. will i get it? miracles can happen right? so i'm like " everytime you smile, i smile... and everytime you shine, i'll shine for you.." i'm shining.. like her... i want to.. its just that.. is it bright enough? will she catch me?

yea just broke up with ex err few months ago? yea.. still remember all the memories.. it hurts deep.. but i guess i've let go.. "i'll never leave you, ever.. i swear." but she left. i was emo enough that day.. to be like that? i cried for days and nights.. cried myself to sleep.. yea.. but i had my sis' advice.. serene, ash.. yeap.. they knew how i felt.. so they helped a lot.. "i won't love you long, i will leave you, we wil break up.." you won't know how that felt. hey, i moved on.. yea.. new hopes.. dreams.. life.. maybe in my new skul.. i'll get her.. the her i was talking about like almost the whole post. XD thinking of confessing? scratch that.. it ain't gonna happen.. but i like prepared a text for her.. confessing to her.. so yea... u get what i mean..

so no more ex-ing.. i wanna live my life for her.. i wanna give her my heart.. would you take mine? will you catch me? will you notice me? will you? stuck to jump then fall.. cuz the lyrics is exactly what is happening.. in my life.. one last time.. "everytime you smile, i smile.. and everytime you shine, i'll shine, and everytime you hear, baby i'll show you..." just jump to me.. just jump. i like you? i love you? am i in love or is this another crush? XD

is it bright enough?

would you take it?

would u live it?

thats it la.. my post... haha.. will continue with langkawi post next time.. XP lol.. i love you~

shining brightly~ ryan