am i in love or is this another crush?

"will you catch me if i fall?"

current theme.. yea.. i guess i'm falling.. and falling.. and falling... no end... will you catch me? will you? damn.. why did i fall for her again? whats wrong with me? great.. i promised myself.. its not gonna happen anymore.. but i fell again... for..her.. arrrghh... whats should i do? i just fell.. instantly.. without looking.. again.. and then.. my heart tore.. stabbed so deep.. broken into a million pieces.. but i kinda feel good bout it.. i wanna feel... love.. again.. i wanna know that someone loves me.. i wanna feel the pain.. and yea.. i'm still crying like a pathetic baby after the "first break up".. i don't really bother about it anymore.. but it still hurts.. yea.. but u gotta let go.. of the dream.. i'm living for my new dream.. its just the point weather.. she'll be in it.. my life.. as what i'm dreaming of i guess... what i need.. is her.. does it matter? maybe to her i'm just invisible.. i'm nothing.. does it hurt? yea.. like a knife stabbed in ur heart.. noe how that feels like?

i just couldn't help it.. i promised myself i won't but i still did it? -sigh- what a good job ryan! damn damn damn... will you will you? i'm so sorry.. it was like automatic.. staring at her.. like it was the brightest star.. in the world.. my world.. then it was like i heard her laugh.. -sigh- again.. i fell.. in love.. i fell for her.. instantly.. so yea.. will i get it? miracles can happen right? so i'm like " everytime you smile, i smile... and everytime you shine, i'll shine for you.." i'm shining.. like her... i want to.. its just that.. is it bright enough? will she catch me?

yea just broke up with ex err few months ago? yea.. still remember all the memories.. it hurts deep.. but i guess i've let go.. "i'll never leave you, ever.. i swear." but she left. i was emo enough that day.. to be like that? i cried for days and nights.. cried myself to sleep.. yea.. but i had my sis' advice.. serene, ash.. yeap.. they knew how i felt.. so they helped a lot.. "i won't love you long, i will leave you, we wil break up.." you won't know how that felt. hey, i moved on.. yea.. new hopes.. dreams.. life.. maybe in my new skul.. i'll get her.. the her i was talking about like almost the whole post. XD thinking of confessing? scratch that.. it ain't gonna happen.. but i like prepared a text for her.. confessing to her.. so yea... u get what i mean..

so no more ex-ing.. i wanna live my life for her.. i wanna give her my heart.. would you take mine? will you catch me? will you notice me? will you? stuck to jump then fall.. cuz the lyrics is exactly what is happening.. in my life.. one last time.. "everytime you smile, i smile.. and everytime you shine, i'll shine, and everytime you hear, baby i'll show you..." just jump to me.. just jump. i like you? i love you? am i in love or is this another crush? XD

is it bright enough?

would you take it?

would u live it?

thats it la.. my post... haha.. will continue with langkawi post next time.. XP lol.. i love you~

shining brightly~ ryan