Running after you.: 'When things go wrong, we just go on' -- Pixie Lott

I had this dream a few nights ago, a freaking unreal dream, about me actually getting to be with her. Which is, pretty weird, cus I had never dreamt of her, EVER. Plus, I also woke up feeling a little heartsick nowing that no matter how much I'll try, I'll end up getting friendzoned anyway. But then I thought, maybe, just maybe that it wouldn't hurt to try?

I can remember it clearly. We were in school and teacher (somehow my History tuition teacher ._.) gave us a series of projects/assignments, and she brought us around. Oh, and the best part is, in the dream the school was a mall! So first assignment, teacher brought us all to the bookstore, and she ordered us to pick a book and do a report on it. So I walked around the tiny little bookstore, but I couldn't find any interesting books (cus guess what, it was a children's bookstore) Then everyone started leaving the store and only a few people, her and her little gang, and myself were left in there. As I was about to give up on picking a book and just randomly getting one, she whispered to me (cus teacher was there) to just take her book. I can even clearly remember the title. (I won't reveal it cus if I do, she'll know cus she suggested me to read it and it was like one of the first things I talked to her about when I first met her) and she pulled me in so close, so close that her whisper was a kiss. A freaking kiss. And I could actually feel it.

Then after that I kind of blurred out but I remember teacher asking us to gather in the store again and she gave us another assignment. You know in those biology lessons they'll ask you to rear an animal and you'll have to act as their parents or something, that was what she asked us to do. So, since we were already together from the first assignment we got paired up. (no complaining though) while teacher was explaining, we had our own little conversation going, about random stuff I unfortunately don't remember. Then the best part. When we were leaving the classroom-bookstore, something that'll happen mostly in those cliché romance movies where the guy falls for his girl best friend and he tells her but he get rejected and the girl tells him that its better for him to stay as friends but the girl realizes that she made a mistake and starts falling for him and she just holds his hand and tells him she regrets saying no and stuff like that. (I watch too much movies) Yeah, THAT happened. As we were walking out, she just took my hand and held it as we were walking side by side. You know in those movies they'll also have those lines like "What about us?", haha I actually said that. I don't know what she replied but I didn't care, I just wanted to hold her hand and not let go, wanting that moment to last forever. Then.. I woke up to the sound of Ziling's call. Uuuugh.

Waking up kind of sucked because 1, I know it will never happen. 2, even if I do tell her I'll get rejected cus she's fallen for some other guy she just went on a 'date' with. I mean, I'm glad she's happy, but I can't help but feel kind of down. I want to be happy too.

Thinking back, a friend (whose had a past with her) took the advantage of her not coming few weeks ago and told me his feelings for her. He told me that she rejected his confession, but he said he'll wait, even if was the last thing he does. I felt so crappy that day, cus all I could do was listen, brokenheartedly, knowing I'll never be more than just a best friend to her.

Nowadays, its so hard for me to just share my feelings to my friends, cus Mel, Ziling, Carmen and Ally are all in different classes, and Isaac, well I haven't told him cus she's pretty close to him too. So yeah, Jen if you're reading this, I have decided to tell you, finally. *yay*

So today I'm dedicating this post to Taylor Swift, thank you for writing songs that are so relatable and heartbreaking, thank you for your music that's always always on replay and always being there for me. Thank you, Taylor. You're my inspiration.