When everything was still okay.

These, are the people I'll forever cherish and love, forever. I miss the stereo bananas, I miss how we were the 'rebels' in class and that we were the ones playing random games in class while teacher's teaching. I miss everything about them. I miss when we'd make fun of each others crushes and tell each other about our dreams. I miss everything.

Everything's changed now, we're all separated, all into different classes. We seldom talk now, and its only occasionally when we bump to each other in the canteen or the hallways. We've moved on from our previous crushes and have fallen for different people. Fights and arguments start to occur. I just.. want everything to be back, the old way.

One of them, has been avoiding me thanks to her stupid boyfriend and she's blocked me on Twitter. I started thinking whether it was my fault because I might've cracked a harmless joke on her, and maybe she got a little too sensitive, and I can't help but blame myself again. She wasn't this sensitive person, that leaves her friends for love. She isn't the girl I knew, the girl I fell for a whole freaking year before I realised it wasn't worth it. I want the old her back.

Another has gotten me wondering why our friendship even exists. Always making mean remarks about what we have to say and always being rude to us. She must always brag that she has freaking branded stuff, well I just think she's spoilt. Plus, she's ALWAYS mean to a totally innocent friend of mine, and always treating her like she's her servant. She's turned to this really arrogant, self-centered person and we've started giving her a taste of her own medicine. Why, did we ever befriend her.

Just found out two months ago that my best friend has been dating for two and a half years and only now she tells us that its happening. Made me feel really alone, and then I started thinking, about why I'm still alone and constantly beating myself up for it.

Well now I'm changed, I've moved on, and started falling for this girl I met. Nothing has happened but its nice to know that I see her everyday, and it really brightens up my day when she smiled at me today. 

My best friend has moved on from a guy that I really didn't think would work out, and I'm really happy for her. She fell for this guy in her class, and made the wrong/right decision to tell him (indirectly) and I'm really really proud of her for doing that. Although he's set eyes on another girl, but I really think they both will end up together. 

My banana friend, had started fan-girling. Haha I know its normal, but she was a 'late bloomer' and we sometimes thought she was a lesbian. Its quite a big accomplishment, actually.

And lastly my best friend, its the first time seeing him like really awkward with a girl he liked, and feeling bad about it. I know its not quite a good thing, but he's finally growing up, and I was really proud of that.

So anyway, friends come and go, but memories stay the same. (needed some place to rant a bit so, hello) 

'A best friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.'

May the odds be ever in your favor.

And this is one of my favorites from The Hunger Games. 

Katniss: “Peeta, how come I never know when you're having a nightmare?” 
Peeta: “I don't know. I don't think I cry out or thrash around or anything. I just come to, paralyzed with terror,” 
Katniss:“You should wake me,” I say, thinking about how I can interrupt his sleep two or three times on a bad night. About how long it can take to calm me down.

“It's not necessary. My nightmares are usually about losing you,” he says. “I'm okay once I realize you're here.”
--- Catching Fire




ps: Jennifer Lawrence is hot, and I somehow think Glimmer is cute. 

Holes inside.

Don't walk away from me.

Sometimes I just feel like a total failure. Some days, I just feel like the world had suddenly fallen apart and I'd start feeling sad for no reason, trying to pick the smallest fault and fussing over it. What she said, it was right. Sometimes I just feel like everything's all messed up and beyond my control, that I'd get stressed out for nothing. One thing I have to get over, is my negativity, and I guess I had to learn that the hard way.

Times like these I look at the sky, and remember that God created everything, and that He makes things happen for a reason. Sometimes I just feel so tiny, so insignificant to the world but then I remember that I have my friends with me, and I remember that they'll always be there for me, no matter what. That's why I love the sky, it reminds me how significant everything is, and that wounds heal, and scars fade. It reminds me that everything in life is beautiful, and that it is worth appreciating. That's why I love sunsets, sunrises, rainbows and stars. ( Call me childish, but I still have those little glow-in-the-dark stars stuck on my ceiling, because technically I'm sleeping under the stars, you know? ) Oh, and one day I want to sleep under the stars. Everything will be okay at the end, if its not okay, its not the end.

"That everything will be ok,

I know that it's so easy to say,

But the pain inside will fade,

Please tell me that you'll stay.

If we hold tight, shadows will be lost in the light.

Oh cos sometimes, fate and your dreams can collide.
When all that you've tried, leaves nothing but holes inside."

- Joe Brooks, Holes Inside.

When the sun rises, its really beautiful. Taken on the way to Catholic High for BK'11

I remember putting up the blinds in our hotel room window in Singapore after a huge storm, and this double rainbow comes out, and I was so excited because a double rainbow is really rare, yes rainbows are cool. Fortunately the room had a really good view of Singapore. Taken from the Ritz Carlton Hotel, Singapore.